Newspapers warn that they may edit letters for grammar, length, and clarity. Sometimes I wonder why they put in the effort, since even proper grammar can’t impart sense to some of the pieces that get sent in. Case in point: a letter today in the McCook Daily Gazette. For extra amusement value, read it aloud with your best John-Stewart-impersonating-George-Bush impersonation:
History is on our side. If you don’t believe this, then you could be a communist. Or even an evil doer, militant insurgent, suspected militant, terrorist or even worse, uncivilized and have body odor.
The enemy does not believe in our values. The enemy is trying to kill us dead, and destroy our American Democracy.
Even further more, the enemy is brutal and could bomb or invade us at any time. My fellow Americans. Think this over.
Is is satire? Is it serious? What does it mean? Has the writer gone off his meds? My best guess, based on similar letters that managed to make a little more sense is that the writer wants us to vote for McCain to stop the terrorists from killing us dead. Actually, that does remind me of McCain’s new slogan:
More straight talk from McCain
A quick google search reveals that the same person has written to the McCook Daily Gazette about two weeks before, and unsurprisingly his previous letter shows the same level of lucid thought:
Is Osama bin Laden still alive?
According to secret CIA reports (whose source I am not authorized to reveal at this point in time), Osama bin Laden is in Havana, Cuba, visiting his evil friend, Fidel Castro. And, they could be making plans to attack us! This must be put to a stop immediately if not sooner.
What is the solution?
Read your Bible.
Now this is why I read letters to the editor.
Haha thank you for helping me wake up with a hilarious blog! You have convinced me even more that I should not listen to Americans!
[...] 5, 2008 by neletters I love the letters to the editor written by the real crazies. The ones that talk about Osama Bin Laden’s vacation plans and then conclude with “read your bible.” I’m not too worried that these people [...]